Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
