its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
