Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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