my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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