if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize