I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
