This house was built for laser tag.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
