ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
