The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
