R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize