Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
