And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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