oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
