So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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