When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
