I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
