put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
