ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Two words: blizzard sex
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
