he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
