I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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