i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
