You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
