Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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