put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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