Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
