I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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