I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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