spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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