i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize