You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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