obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
