Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You need a sexual gate keeper
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
