Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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