I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
