Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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