You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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