Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
