I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
