so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
