just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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