at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
