Do you still have your period?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
