At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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