i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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