It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
