like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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