god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
