is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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