I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My pussy is not your playground.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize