She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize