Acid is not a monday night drug
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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