I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
God, I missed his penis.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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