those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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