So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
