Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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