She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize