He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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