I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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