marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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