so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
