we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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