I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
