I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
