I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
